This past week or maybe even two (i’ve truly lost track) Alex and I have been running ourselves thin, working hard, taking care of our son and barely making anytime for nurturing ourselves let alone our relationship. Our interactions became short, with often bickering and quickly we realized we were not the people we wanted to be. We talked about what was going on (which always helps) but we also recognized the need to go on a date more than our weekly yoga session, which is often a much needed self care practice done alongside of each other as opposed to an activity together.
So the need for something more kicked in, I knew we needed time to laugh, be with each other and reconnect. So I asked a friend to help out and watch Nova, she thankfully agreed. Alex then booked us a much needed massage (which always makes for a good laugh when retelling our experiences). Immediately after the massage we felt like our usual selves again, hugging, smiling, loving each other fully. We even began making out in public, which then prompted someone to scream out of their car “get it giiiiirl”, we had a good laugh reminiscing on how for the first 5 years of our relationship this was a common occurrence both the intense making out and hollering received by those who witnessed it. Already, we could feel the positive ripple effect of our much needed time together.
We then went to eat at an Indian restaurant that we’ve both had our eyes on for years. I felt it was important to go somewhere different than our usual favorites to experience something new together. We laughed and talked the whole dinner and felt as if we were dating again. I took time and appreciated all of the little things, like him opening the door for me, but me beating him to it. Us taking the time to fully listen and laugh at what each other had to say. Simply enjoying a slow meal together was a gift.
To digest and enjoy more of each others company we decided to take a bike ride through the neighborhood and we chose streets that we rarely ever take and discovered interesting shadows, architecture, gardens and art in peoples yards that we got to not only acknowledge but also take time to admire.
When we finally arrived home, Nova was completely asleep and for the first time since he’s come into our world, he slept the entire night (all the way through)! Turns out our date proved to be beneficial for all three of us and more ways than one. Since we arrived home to a sleeping toddler, we fully took advantage of the gift of intimacy, in which concluded with us falling asleep in each others arms.
As a result of this time we took to nurture ourselves, our love for one another, our commitment, and connection,
we Immediately noticed a difference in ourselves, our relationship and in our parenting of Nova.
Above all, I share this personal story with you in the event that you might find yourself struggling with your beloved and look for hope, ideas, or even just to know you’re not alone. Love is energy, so take care of yourself first and this will be the source of being able to care for the ones you love most. If you recognize you are not operating from a loving place please make this “work” a priority above all else. With the business and demands of modern living it is essential to take time to nurture our true nature of love.